I was diagnosed with Stage 3C squamous cell carcinoma of the anus Sept 17 2012 at age 63. Additionally I had a five centimeter tumor growing in my rectum. I had no idea how my life would change or how little information concerning side effects that I would receive from the Oncologosts. I finished two 96 hour continuous chemo infusions and 33 rounds Of radiation and Dec 22 2012 and pretty much slept till late January 2013.
After reading a book by Bill Henderson I changed my diet to include daily supplements, bigwig protocol and no meat, wheat, sugar gluten or dairy. My white blood cell count was at 800 and over the past 18 months itit finally up to 3200, quite a testament to eating clean organic food and regularity using my infrared sauna and ozone swimming pool. I looked into cancer clinics but decided to create an oasis of healing in my back yard so that my whole family could benefit.
I am now NED and the tumor is gone but struggle with all those emotional, physical and energy problems that were never discussed. I am left with a lot of damage to my pelvic floor, rectum and anus. My energy level is fragil, I lose my voice almost every day and constantly have accidents. My surgeon has said that I will ask for a colostomy eventually when I am tired of battling the accidents and pain but I am desperately trying to hold on.
I have a very supportive husband and three wonderful daughters who have helped in amazing ways. Cancer has affected my family too but I suspect overall it has been a learning journey for all of us. My husband and daughters have become more health conscious about what they are eating and I can definitely see improved health for them all.
I have noticed some depression in the last few months and am not sure what to do. I am very thankful to be where I am on my journey and do not in any way want to feel sorry for myself but I tend to get so overwhelmed on a daily basis. It seems my ability to think clearly is very compromised after 11 am and almost non existent in the evenings. I make all my own food and when I slip off my narrow diet I have terrible repercussions and a lot of pain. Most of my day is balancing a normal life with taking care of myself. Some days I win, some days I lose. Often I am reclusive and hesitant to venture out due to the constant bathroom issues. I am interested to know if other people have these times of depression and what they do. I am not one to open up but feel in my heart that if I do not try to help myself I will suffer and so will my family. I am very fortunate that I have been able to slow down and actually look forward to retiring in 2015. Thank you for allowing me to join the forum and I look forward to emotional healing.